sorry.

I just back from the halo party that Jello was having at his empty house. It was okay for the most part until I got stuck in the dark basement with Anthany. -_-;; haha.
I got Rob to steal a toaster from Jellos house and he did and Jello chased him down the street.
My dads getting really annoyed that I keep asking about the Cramps show..
I can't believe The dead Milkmen are playing at the Trocadero next month. I almost died when I heard it. I'm fucking in love with the singer. I'm going to see Joe the singer of them in his other band Low budgets at some free show on Walnut st. the day before the Dead Milkmen show.
I'm eating these pizza bites things and everytime I go to bit on side the pizza sause comes out the other side. *sigh*
My dad thinks John stole my money which I don't think he did but you never know because he hasn't been around in a few days...Hmm. Oh well, i should just leave my last $5 on the table and see if its gone in the morning then I'll have no money.
I don't know if I really want to even see my mom. Ross annoys me because when I talked to him he made it sound like it was all my fault and I know it has nothing to do with me. All I know is i want my camera and my life back which I know I wont be getting either of them back.
Amber
  • Current Music
    E-town concrete

I hope my life doesn't get any worse...

This is one of those shocking momments in my life that I felt like happened before. My life only repeats the bad things that happen to me. -_-;;
I pretty much lost all of the friends and anxiety doesn't help me focus on school.
I'm going insane here.
Anyway...on to the bad news.
My moms in jail...for 4 1/2 years. I have to go to court if they have a hearing which I hope they do. I called to get my camera back and I found that out, lovely isn't it? I feel so guilty. Why does everything have to go wrong? I've been pushed too far...
Why doesn't someone just fucking shoot me? and end my misery.

I saw red for a second, so frustrated
I'm not immune to pressure
Thought I could control it, but I buckled
Lashing out for no good reason at all

Wish I could take it back, wish I could just rewind
Wish I could take it back and just not lose my head
Wish I could take it back, wish I could just rewind
Wish I could take it back and just not lose my mind

Words could not make up for the things so stupid
How futile is the effort
So I make this promise and I'll keep it
I'll never hurt the ones I cherish so much

I took it out on the wrong person
I feel pathetic, guilty, and weak
  • Current Mood
    depressed depressed

(no subject)

My dads still not home...I really feel like going somewhere and I know when he gets home he'll say "I'll take you tomorrow". I'm so impatient...I think its because of all the anxiety i've built up over the past 6 months.
I can't stand being trapped up in one place for too long. I love excitment but here theres none at all.
I'm so pissed off I really need to get a wallet I finally have money and I already lost $15. Err. *rips hair out* I had to take 3 tests today which I think I did pretty well on all of them.
This sunday is the Cramps show!! yay. Thats one thing to look foward to this weekend. I have to save money though because my dad spends it all on crack. x_x;;
I forget what my room looks like...I haven't been down there in awhile. Ha. last time I was down there I found empty beer bottles from awhile ago...I need to throw them away before I get caught. I've been meaning to do that for awhile now. Maybe I can convince my dad to take me to sugar moms when we go to Philly for the Cramps. I love that fucking bar.<33
Amber
  • Current Music
    Zounds

(no subject)

I sold all my candy bars for chorus which is good, I need to get a new box. I havn't made a "real" update in awhile I wonder why. I Mean I really don't have a life anymore or least I don't think so. School is draining my life away...people just all around suck. I'm happy though because I downloaded Bearshare and I downloaded a bunch of great songs. ^_^;; I was so hyper when I got home today I think it was all that candy I ate at my house. My house is full of too much junk food...not good at all. My dad gave me money today and I'm going to save my money until I have enough to buy what I want online. Damn ants I swear their everywhere!! Eek. I'm trying to get this mp3 player to work...ah.
I have no idea what happened to my mom...I hope shes not dead. Life really sucks at this point in my life so something happening like that wouldn't shock me. -_-;;
+Amber+
  • Current Music
    Cocksparrer

(no subject)

Wow, Livejournal is different. I haven't been on in awhile. But good news is on the way...!!!


Yes yes yes yes yes yes yes YES. Thats right.
  • Current Music
    Jimi hendrix

(no subject)

Summer is over and its going to be a longggg 4 years.
Joy. I left my headphones at Marleens...Damn.
  • Current Music
    Cocksparrer